Four Kinds of Love – A Biblical View (Part 1)

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13 NASB95

One of the most nonsensical statements in modern culture is “Love is Love.” This idea stems from Postmodernism, which claims there is no ultimate truth. Many people in contemporary Western societies believe knowledge and truth are not definitive. Instead, they hold that truth is based on societal norms (Relativism) or personal feelings and beliefs (subjectivism) [6]. The goal of this post is not to delve deeply into the argument for definite truth. However, it is important to understand the foundation for the modern (false) concept of love. For now, it will suffice to say that there is an ultimate truth in God through Jesus Christ (John 14:6), and we have the Bible as His inspired written Word.

To get back to today’s topic, we must first understand that true love is more than just attraction, lust, a whim, or an instinctive hormonal drive. Any person can experience love in some degree or fashion, but it becomes a perversion if it is love that has been separated from Christ as the foundation. “Love is love” as a concept implies that as long as love (or what is mistakenly called so) is involved in the relationship, it is not only permissible but good and right. This is why we have such confusion in modern Western culture, with the LGBTQ+ movement on a constant rise, questioning of the Biblical family structure, and people so deep into their confusion and lies that they no longer know if they are men, women, or even human in some cases.

Part of the confusion is that many people do not understand what “love” means. And here we finally get to the purpose of this post: to define love Biblically. To do this, we will follow the example of C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves, using the Greek language and Scripture as our tools. In his book [5], Lewis discusses four Greek words that are often oversimplified to mean “love” in translation to English. Storge, Eros, Phileo, and Agape are four distinct types of love that we can see demonstrated in Scripture. Storge and Eros are not mentioned directly in the Bible, but once they are defined, it becomes clear that Scripture still shows clear examples. Phileo and Agape are mentioned in the words of Christ Himself. Moving forward, we will break them down individually, covering Storge and Eros in this post, and Philia and Agape next month.

Storge (στοργή in the original Greek) can be defined as “affection” [4]. C.S. Lewis calls it “the humblest and most widely diffused of loves, the love in which our experience seems to differ least from that of the animals [5].” In other words, storge is the most instinctive love, the love for a family member such as a parent, child, or sibling that even many animals seem to have for their young. Lewis also makes it clear that this love is only for those who are most familiar with us, and it does not discriminate. When we think of phrases like “a face only a mother could love,” this is the type of love and affection we refer to. A fitting example of this love in Scripture would be in the story of King David. Even when his son Absalom led a rebellion, David still did not want him harmed out of love for his child (2 Samuel 18:5). We can also see a reference to this kind of love in Paul’s writings [3]. In Romans 1:28-31 and 2 Timothy 3:1-3, we see the phrase “without natural affection” in the KJV, or “unloving” in newer translations. In both cases, Paul uses the word astorgos, which is the antonym of storge, meaning the lack of natural affection [1]. What is important here is that Paul is referring to situations that we see today. This “lack of affection” is seen in the wickedness of abortion [3] or even parents abandoning their children for things like drugs, money, or “freedom.” However, this unloving attitude is seen throughout history in the story of Cain and Abel [3] and in religious rites like child sacrifice. Another notable example of a sinful version of storge can be found in another C.S. Lewis work: The Great Divorce [2]. In this allegory of a spiritual journey between Heaven and Hell, the protagonist witnesses a scene in which the spirit of a Christian attempts to minister to the spirit of a woman who has arrived in the afterlife without her baby, who also died. The woman asks the Christian where her child is and is told that he is in Heaven. She claims that she should not have to make the long, arduous journey to Heaven; that if God loved her, He would send her baby to her. Eventually, the woman says that she does not care that her child is in Heaven, she thinks he should be with her forever, wherever she may go because he is HER baby after all [2]. She wants to condemn her baby to hell just so she can keep him in some twisted form of affection. The lesson to be learned about storge is that when God’s grace and His natural order are removed from society, then even the most basic form of love —a parent protecting their child— can be thrown to the wayside.

The next type of love we will discuss is eros (ἔρως). Eros translates to “sensuous love” [4], or “being in love” as C.S. Lewis calls it [5]. The true, godly form of this love is not just sexual desire or lust. It is the way that a husband and wife truly feel united more than it is a selfless demonstration of love. All four forms of love have a place in marriage, but a good Scriptural example of Eros is found in the Song of Solomon. In this book, it is clear how deeply attracted and in love the two people are. When godliness is taken out of the picture, eros is corrupted into basic lust. This can be seen in David’s sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11), Amnon’s (David’s son) incestuous lust for his half-sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13), and in the homosexual conduct of the men in Sodom (Genesis 19). C.S. Lewis points out in The Four Loves that a major danger with eros is that people will idolize the concept itself [5]. This is the unfortunate truth of today: the idolization of sex, sexuality, and “being in love.” Everywhere we look, we see commercialized sex, provocative imagery used in advertisements, and all forms of entertainment that glorify unholy ideals of what erotic love should be. This is the foundation of the “Love is Love” movement that I mentioned earlier. And modern society makes it exceedingly difficult to avoid this perversion. It is no longer one woman bathing on a roof that David should have avoided. It is an entire culture full of pornography and near pornography, masquerading as entertainment in books and films like the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, in social media platforms, and in so many aspects of Western culture that it would take much too long to name them all. Believers must change this culture in their churches and homes, not by making sexual love a taboo that should be avoided in discussions, but by properly teaching it in the way that God intended for marriage. God designed marriage for one man and one woman to share the erotic desire of eros. However, the only way that it can be conducted in a godly manner is if it is combined with the care of storge, which was discussed above, and with the selflessness of agape and the true friendship of phileo, which we will discuss in the next post.

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