In our current culture, fatherless children are plentiful, causing many situations where they are forced to go through life without a key influence in their lives. The reasons why men fail to step up and fulfill their responsibilities to children are as numerous as the number of fatherless children. Regardless of the reasons why their fathers are not present, they struggle with abandonment, anxiety, depression, and a whole host of other issues. They often struggle to regulate emotions, as a healthy marriage between parents typically provides the emotional balance in the home. In their teen years, they often look for love in all the wrong places to fulfill that absence. Not all children go through the same struggles, but all children are affected in some way when a father is absent. While we unfortunately cannot make all men who have children be the fathers they should be, Scripture does talk about God being a father to the fatherless. Psalm 68:5 states, “A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation.” Yet though our Heavenly Father is always there, it is not always easy to see God’s hand of protection on us-especially when we are in the midst of a crisis. Looking back, though, we can usually see it.
My father left when I was a little over a year old. I know who he is and have seen him from a distance a few times in my life, but he has been 100% absent since he left. It was extremely hard on both my mother and me. I went through a lot in my teen years, and I even had a failed first marriage. I will say not every bad thing that happened to me was a result of his absence, but I will say that I lacked the things I needed my father to teach me. I could not properly relate to men, I did not know how married couples related to each other, and I did not know what to look for in a husband. I had uncles who stepped up, but their best efforts are not the same as having a father. I appreciate everything they did, and they influenced who I am, but I still had lessons that I learned the hard way. It has taken me years, but I can now look back and see God’s hand on me since I was very small. I have allowed God to heal the wounds my father’s abandonment caused and have even been able to forgive him. It was not easy, and it took a long time, but I got there.
God often uses believers to help fill the void of absent fathers. When I met my now-husband, Jeremy, I had been recently divorced. I was absolutely clueless about how to make a marriage work, and I was trying to heal from the trauma of that failed marriage. Unfortunately, this led to Jeremy and me making some poor choices early in our relationship. The good news was that my in-laws prayed. My father-in-law covered us both in prayer daily. He was patient, kind, and loving. God used this man to minister to my heart. I learned what an earthly father’s love looks like from him, as he has loved me like his own from day one. In him, I see proof that God sends those we need to minister to us.
If you are struggling because of an absent or poor father, look to God, who will help you heal. Our loving Heavenly Father can fill the void left by earthly fathers. We are accepted by him (Romans 5:8). He is our provider (Philippians 4:19). He is our comfort (Psalm 23). He is our guide (Proverbs 3:5-6). He is our healer (Psalm 147:3, Psalm 30:2, Psalm 91). He is our defender (Psalm 18:2, Psalm 28:7, Psalm 94:22).
Men, love your children. When you see a fatherless child, step up if you can. You can make a world of difference to that child. God is truly a father to the fatherless, and it IS believers’ responsibility to stand up for these children when we are able.
