Why Men and Women are Different

From the dawn of time, men and women have been inherently different.  In fact, God created them that way.  Genesis 2:18 says, “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18 NASB95) In this passage, the word translated as “helper” comes from the Hebrew word ezer, from the root word meaning “to aid or help” (Strong’s). Holman Illustrated Bible Dictionary defines helper as his partner, or a suitable companion to help him.  Notice that this term does not suggest subordination but stresses that, unlike the animals, a woman can truly be one with her husband, enjoying fellowship and partnership with him (Brand, 2003).

It is important to understand that God did not create a clone of Adam but a helper for him.  When God created men, he left something out. Not a design flaw but an intentional feature. Adam needed not only companionship but help. God, in his infinite wisdom, created women different from men to fill this unique role (Genesis 1:27). 

 To understand these differences, we must first point out that men and women do not think in the same way. Very early in pregnancy, a male baby’s testosterone kicks in, causing nerve fibers in the brain to start to disintegrate (Beking et al., 2018). This creates problems in communication between the two sides of the brain, leading to compartmentalization. Therefore, when they are focusing on something, they truly may not hear someone speaking to them.

Secondly, men and women do not communicate in the same way.  Generally speaking, men are more verbal in their communication.  Women tend to use both verbal and non-verbal cues. So, you not only have to listen to her words, but you also must observe her body language. This is why text messages are often problematic, because you are missing the visual half of the communication. This can lead to missing important cues in the true meaning of what is being said. Very few women always say exactly what they mean and mean exactly what they say.  Our words are affected by our current thoughts, hormone levels, and stress. Women usually are not good at compartmentalizing, so there is often a whole host of mental processes going on simultaneously.

Thirdly, men and women have different needs and desires.  Men desire respect, which is partly why God asks women to be submissive (1 Peter 3). Submission is too large a topic to fully cover here, so take my brief explanation for what it is. In short, submission is indeed two-sided, and this is just one aspect of it.  Women want to be the most important thing in a man’s life.  This is why God commanded men to LOVE their wives (Ephesians 5:25). If you look at the roles laid out in Ephesians 5 for husbands and wives, wives are to “subject ourselves to our husbands”.  Husbands are commanded to “love your wives”. For more research, Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 are excellent go-to scriptures regarding women.

So, why did God create men and women differently? We have different roles in life. Especially in the modern day, these roles can somewhat overlap.  That does not, however, change the fact that men and women were created differently and for different reasons. It is important to note that when we learn to embrace and respect the differences between the sexes, life is much simpler. When husbands can try to understand that their wives think differently, communicate differently, and need different things, marriage becomes much easier.  Will men ever fully understand women? Not likely.  When wives understand these same concepts about husbands, marriage gets easier. Will we understand them fully? We will not. When we really step back and look, our differences are a good thing.  When handled properly, they complement each other. Ladies, he really isn’t ignoring you intentionally. Men, she does not mean to confuse you with her less direct communication.